Dear Boys,

There are many things going on in the world that you don't understand or even know about. Most recently, tornado's taking the lives of innocent people, including other kids. This made me realize how valuable each day is and how I should never take our time together for granted. In case you don't already know this, you guys are my world. I live for the times we spend together. The little things you do or say make me so happy and I constantly think about all the fun times we do have together. Even when I have to get onto you or put you in timeout for something, I love you. Hayden, I love the pictures you draw for me. Especially the men with mustaches; they are too cute! Brady bear, I love your sarcasm. ( I know you don't know that yet, but that's what it is) The other day, you told me "Mom, I'm sick of this juice, I'm sick of it" I have never laughed so hard.

Now, I know sometimes life is confusing. Going back and forth from Mommy to Daddy can be really tough. Please know, we do this so that we can both be in your lives because we both love you VERY much. Hayden, I know you get so tired of me asking you to eat "real" food but it's because I love you. Brady, I know you don't like being told what to do but it's because I love you. You see, everything I do....is because I love you and I want you to grow big and strong and old.

Just remember, no matter what mommy loves her boys.

Misinterpretations

With all the technology that is out there now, people hardly chat face to face anymore. If it wasn't for profile pictures we might actually forget what our friends looked like. More and more people rely on text messaging and emails to get in touch with people and this..my friends...can cause some problems. Let me explain...

Emotions are not conveyed in text or emails. Heck, if it weren't for the emoticons that people have come up with, we could be portrayed as a sack of potatoes, and this...is no good. Here are some examples of things that are misinterpreted in written text.

"...ok" -----Wait, are you mad?? Why the ... what did I say to upset you??
"oh, ok" ----what?? Is this not the answer that you expected to come from me??
"I DONT THINK SO?"  -----Why are you screaming at me? Why are you so angry?
"ok I suppose" -----That was a yes or no question wth
"huh?" ----- what part did you not understand, do you want me to repeat everything I just said or do you need more english lessons?
"sure" ----sure?? Do you want to or not?!
"....IDK" ----- Can i just have a better explaination please?!

As you can see, it is easy to get upset/irritated/want to throw something at someone for their response. Really, only the person who sends the message knows its true meaning and the deciphering is up to us. :)

Memories

Sometimes I think it is crazy some of the things that I can remember from my childhood. I spent the drive to work this morning thinking about them, some of which made me laugh and others not so much. Here are some in no particular order.

- I remember my mom taking me to my three year old checkup and when I got my shots, I didn't cry....why?? Because M&M's were on the line.

- I remember my moms mullet. (sorry mom)

- I remember Chris always wearing a white hat.

- I remember when Chris got a boy doll to match my girl doll

- I remember when I got so pissed at Heather for wanting to use my pretend iron and ironing board to iron my clothes. ( I was going to do it when I got out of the bath dangit)

- I remember a big wheel being run over (not my fault, I swear)

- I remember sneaking into grammy's fridge and sneaking Jello and still denying it when our hand prints were in the bowl.

- I remember my cutout one piece that showed my belly and me walking around trying to close the gap so no one would see.

- I remember always eating juju candies.

- I remember when Jonathan was born and the hospital made me wear a mask...but didn't I only have asthma?!

Random thoughts, yes I know. But these little thoughts can sometimes pick me up on a day where I am feeling a little down.

My Addiction

Today's blog is a bit more serious than the last two. Today's topic: Addiction, my addiction. No I am not talking about my tattoo addiction...or my cherry pepsi addiction...this is something I have not been wanting to admit, but the first step in recovery is admitting you have a problem, right?

This particular addiction causes me anxiety when I go without it for more than a couple days. I will go to great distances to get my fix. Yes, I am talking about ....Taco Bell.

And not just Taco Bell...Taco Bell/Pizza Hut is the true demon here. My fix is simple....chicken quesadilla with extra jalapeno sauce on the side and a PH3 with a pepsi. (for those of you who are Taco Bell/Pizza Hut amatuers, a PH3 is breadsticks with a drink) For under $5 I get this!! Talking about it now, makes the craving appear. If someone is going to Taco Bell, I could never resist asking them to get my meal. I will drive 15 minutes out of my way to get my fix. We have a bigger problem though....

The Taco Bell that was right down the street from my house....closed. I know, I know...take it in....Once I saw the building was demolished...I was really devasted. After some research, I discovered that it was a zoning issue and they are rebuilding it. So now, my late night Taco Bell craving has really become a pain in the butt. I can either deal with it and turn into a monster (which I am sure John loves) or I can drive to the nearest Taco Bell that is 15 minutes away.

All I know is this. Taco Bell....you had BETTER be open in two years or so (hopefully we will be expecting a wittle one) or all I know is I am going to find your secret recipes and start up shop in my house.

To post, or not to post, that is the question:

Facebook used to be about catching up with old friends, (or spying on them) letting people know what you are doing with your life, or that place where you post a ton of pictures so everyone can see how cute (you think) your family is. This is definitely not the case anymore. Facebook has turned into what I like to refer to as "Bitchbook". Bitchbook is where you come to tell your friends how angry you are. You tell who pissed you off that day, why people suck, or most recently how much you hate the President. The funny thing is you can actually remove people from your life simply by deleting them. Once you are deleted you are non-existent in their world. Personally, I feel bad for these people who are always so angry!

For once, let everyone post positive, uplifting, motivating quotes. Not that some people don't already do that, I really appreciate those posts. You are happy with life and I get happy just by reading your posts. So that brings me to my topic today....To post, or not to post. Next time you are thinking about posting something negative on Facebook, ask yourself...will this hurt someones feeling? Could I get erased as a friend from someones life? If I don't post this, will my day still totally suck? If I do post this will my day automatically be better?

So if everyone now, could come and get happy! After all, studies show happy people live longer.

Chapter 3

I am a firm believer that people change. Sometimes it is for the better, sometimes it is not. For me, it is better....much much better. I am going to skip chapters 1 and 2 for my sake and your time. No doubt, I would not be where I am now if it wasn't for them, but there are definite memories that still bring up a painful past.

My life is wonderful now. I have a great boyfriend who cares about me as much as I care for him (he might joke that he cares more).

 I have two amazing sons, Hayden who is almost 5 and Brady who turned 3 today.

It seems like just yesterday I was going in for a regular check up only to find I was in labor and didn't even know it. My little ginger has gotten so big and so smart! Hayden who is not a ginger but quite possibly the spawn of something magnificent (yes, me) is the biggest smart alec 4/5 year old you have ever met. Whether he tells me, and I quote "this is ridiculous" or "what do you not understand mom, it's not that difficult?" there is never a dull moment with either of them.

To help me with Chapter 3, I have began reading a book called "How to Heal Toxic Thoughts". Although I am only to chapter 3 in the book (no correlation with the title of this blog) I must say that it is a book I think most people should read. There always seems to be so much negativity in the air about everything. I know that I am guilty of being negative as well and although it takes thought to be positive; you feel better, you breathe better, and everyone around you notices a great change in your personality and being.

Happy Monday to you all!